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So, I started August with high hopes. I was going to smash it with The Kindred Creativity Club (KCC) and showcase a bunch of indie creatives and services. I was going to work on two WIPs. I was going to help hubby revise his novel. And then… I crashed and burned.
As I’ve mentioned before, I suspect I have PMDD, and August hit me especially hard. When PMDD hits, it feels like being consumed by an angry cloud with claws and fangs—and not in a fun way! Everything was overwhelming.
Just the thought of getting out of bed, let alone writing or doing anything else, brought me to the verge of a panic attack.
But I also felt guilty. Having ADHD makes me a bit (read: a lot) of an overachiever and people pleaser. I hate feeling like I’ve let people down or flaked out on plans. In the past, that guilt would have pushed me to keep going, even when I was falling apart. Thankfully, over the last few years—and with the help of ADHD coaching—I’ve learned that taking a break isn’t “letting people down” or “flaking out.” It’s taking care of me.
I’m not just Writer Clare, or KCC founder Clare, or even Parent and Partner Clare. I’m all these things, and sometimes one area needs to take a backseat so I can focus on others.
Taking August Off
So, I took August off—without guilt. I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t feel up to (apart from the essentials, like eating). Writing, KCC work, and medical appointments—all could wait.
Honestly, I spent most of August reading ASOIAF fanfiction, bingeing random YouTube videos, playing The Sims, doing a few crafts and napping
I also had a few family days out, especially when Oldest’s partner visited. We went to my favourite place on Earth: Europe’s Largest Halloween Store. I brought home more chintzy Halloween decorations than necessary, but if it makes me happy, who cares?
And you know what? I feel so much better for it. Last week, I got a medical appointment I’d been waiting on since March (!) sorted. With that done, it felt like a cloud lifted, and my passion, focus, and excitement returned. I was so ready to get back to writing and KCC that I decided to end my break a week early, starting today instead of September 1st.
Returning to Creativity
So, what’s on the agenda for September and beyond?
KCC September Spotlight: Creative Connections
When I first took a break, I had about 90% of participants lined up, but no interview questions or landing page. Now, everything is ready: interviews sent, landing page complete, posting schedule worked out, and graphics in progress. Launch is happening next week!
Upcoming KCC Charity Auction
I’m also planning a charity auction to raise funds for the Trussell Trust, a UK charity supporting food banks.
If you have a product or service to donate, you can sign up here.
Writing Updates
Taking August off helped me clarify my writing focus. I realised I cannot work on two novels at once—at least not while running KCC, helping hubby revise his novels (yes, two now!), and managing life and health responsibilities.
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Triquetra is a story I love and plan to return to once Divine Unmaking (DU) is complete.
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Seeing my husband complete his first book (A Very Autistic Dystopia, ~62k words) and start querying agents has inspired me to focus on Divine Unmaking.
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My stats show that my sapphic book is still popular five years after release, which reinforced the importance of finishing DU first.
DU is very close to my heart. Without being big-headed, it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. It was inspired by:
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Marvel’s The Dark Phoenix Saga
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Sansa Stark’s arc in A Song of Ice and Fire
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Anne Rice’s Lives of the Mayfair Witches trilogy
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The movie Labyrinth
It explores themes like:
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Transformation
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Female rage
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Controlled femininity
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Political awakening
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Divine feminine rebellion
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Forbidden love
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Religious repression
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Manipulative power dynamics
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Divine purpose twisted by the patriarchy
It also draws on my experiences as a queer, neurodivergent, gender-non-conforming Christian navigating the world. Plus, one of the main characters has red hair and green eyes, which is quickly becoming my trademark!
I’m excited to see DU picked up by an agent and become something amazing, and after it’s done, I’ll return to Triquetra. Another story about magical redheads who are oppressed—again, my trademark! 😛
Celebrating Hubby
Speaking of books and husbands… he finished his first novel! He also sent it to beta readers and started querying agents. He’s now hard at work on the sequel.
I cannot stress enough how proud I am. Not only did he write a novel in a month, but he’s handling feedback so well. It’s incredible to see him absorbed in something he’s passionate about after months of burnout.
Musical Interlude: Buck Tick
A final thought before I sign off… do you remember LiveJournal, where posts ended with location, mood, and music? I miss that. So here’s my latest obsession:
Yes, I’m about twenty years late, okay?! My love of vampires and anime led me to discover this Japanese band and their gorgeous singer, Atsushi Sakurai (RIP 🖤). I don’t understand all the lyrics, but the message hits me anyway.
Here’s one that breaks my heart:
"You can never go home again
To that ocean where we were born
Staring at the blue star
That disappears in the distance,
To everything, goodbye..."
BRB, crying forever! 😭
I’ll be back towards the end of September with another update. Until then, take care and stay creative.
T.T.F.N
