---
title: The Month I Embraced Change
description: My monthly writer re-cap, this month focusing on how sometimes the story you think you want to write isn’t actually the one you should write.
image: https://claredugmore.com/hubfs/Oct%20Wrap%20Up.png
---

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 October 29, 2026

# The Month I Embraced Change

![Picture of Clare Dugmore](https://claredugmore.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Clare%20April%2023.jpg?width=50&name=Clare%20April%2023.jpg) By  [Clare Dugmore](https://claredugmore.com/blog/author/clare-dugmore)  ·   4 minute read

Sometimes the story you *think* you want to write isn’t actually the one you *should* write.

If I had a penny for every time I started a project, only to realise it wasn’t quite right, I’d have a lot of pennies! lol

Around this time last year, [I wrote](https://claredugmore.com/blog/bitten-by-the-muse-how-a-flash-fic-prompt-sparked-a-vampire-romance) about how some high-concept projects, like Triquetra and Divine Unmaking, are “dip in and out of” projects, not “write in six months” projects.

> “Projects like Triquetra and Divine Unmaking? I love them deeply. But they’re complex beasts. Triquetra has three protagonists—Act One alone clocked in at 60k words. Divine Unmaking has dual POVs, layered trauma, memory loss, and a whole mythology of patriarchal oppression. These are stories I’ll likely dip in and out of over many years.
> 
> They’re not six-month-and-query projects.
> 
> But my new vampire story? Tentatively titled Kiss Me After the Kill? It’s lore-rich, yes—but it’s first and foremost a romance novel.
> 
> And that, I’ve realised, is where my strengths lie.
> 
> All three of my previously published books are romance. Honestly, I’ll take any excuse to write with fangirl energy on Main.”

Did I learn my lesson?! For a while, yes. I finished Kiss Me After The Kill and wrote the first draft of Tea Leaves, Pages and Starlight.

Then, around summertime, when I’d finished serialising Kiss Me After The Kill on Inkitt and sent it off to my editor, I started scrambling for the next “thing”.

At the time, back-to-school season was approaching, and I fell in love with the idea of a magic school, but for adults. The result was ~30k words of a novel I decided to serialise as Magic, Dreams and a Place To Belong.

But one key factor made that serial different from KMATK: it wasn’t complete.

This is risky for two reasons:

1. Readers are (understandably) less likely to invest in an ongoing story.
2. I run the risk of losing inspiration for the story and deciding not to continue it.

That’s exactly what happened with Magic, Dreams and a Place To Belong.

I think there were several reasons for this. First, I’m not 100% convinced it was the right type of story to serialise in the first place. I don’t think it aligns with what serial fiction readers expect.

It also became clear that it wasn’t one of those “forever” projects that get lodged in my brain and refuse to leave, but rather one of those “temporary” projects I spend X amount of months obsessing over before moving on from.

Which is fine, as long as I remind myself *not* to jump the serial gun! lol

As I was losing interest in Magic, Dreams and a Place To Belong, another story was *burning* inside me.

To Burn Beside You took many elements from Triquetra and Divine Unmaking and combined them with fantasy romance. But as I wrote, and also read [Shelter Me From Death by Katie L. Smith](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/249323469), a couple of things started to become clear in my mind.

1. I wanted to write a faster-paced, romance-forward novel for Novel-November.
2. To Burn Beside You *does not* need a romantic subplot. The story isn’t about Estelle finding love; it’s about Estelle accepting her true self and having a reckoning with the people who harmed her.

As those thoughts solidified, I also realised that To Burn Beside You is actually another iteration of the same story I’ve been telling for *decades*, through projects like Triquetra and Divine Unmaking.

All of these projects feature so many similar elements that I refer to them as iterations rather than separate projects.

At its core, the story is always about a woman (or women) with extraordinary abilities who is raised in an environment where she’s taught to suppress, rather than embrace, those abilities. Eventually, something helps her break away from that harmful environment and embrace her true self.

It’s heavily inspired by my own neurodivergence journey, something I touched upon in my October essay, [What Halloween Means to Me – How Halloween and the Paranormal Gave Me the Language to Help Me Understand Myself](https://claredugmore.com/blog/what-halloween-means-to-me).

My other inspirations include characters like Jean Grey, Madelyne Pryor, Sansa Stark and Carrie White. I intend to explore those connections, and how I’ve interpreted these characters through the lens of a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman, in my forthcoming November essay. So be sure to follow my [Essays Page](https://claredugmore.com/essays) so you don’t miss it!

Knowing that To Burn Beside You is another iteration of the “woman with extraordinary abilities who is raised in an environment where she’s taught to suppress them” story, I reminded myself of what I said last year:

*These are stories I’ll likely dip in and out of over many years.*

To Burn Beside You is *not* a story I can write quickly during an event like Novel-November, and I believe trying to do so would harm the eventual story.

But the ~8k words I wrote on TBBY before November weren’t wasted. They helped me realise that the story works best with one protagonist and that it doesn’t need a romance.

I also wrote a fantastic baby delivery scene in which Estelle psychically experiences the emotions of everyone present, including the baby, as she helps the mother give birth.

But deciding to send TBBY back to the [White Hot Room](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/White_Hot_Room) to incubate for a while (if you’re a Jean Grey fan, hopefully you understand this reference!) left me with two issues: no Novel-November plans and a dragon prince who has been circling my brain since May!

For the last few days, I’ve been brainstorming a new story where I can really focus on my dragon prince, Lucaris. And, of course, he’ll need a suitable love interest, and I can never say no to witches! lol

So now I have plans for a second-chance, cosy fantasy romance that I’ll start working on this Monday.

I’m so excited and can’t wait to tell you all more about it as the month progresses!

This month, I also achieved my October goal and finished the rewrites and revisions on Kiss Me After The Kill.

The story is now set in a fantasy world similar to the Regency era, and I’ve *hopefully* fixed the issues my editor previously had with it.

From my perspective, it feels a lot stronger and closer to the version of KMATK I envisioned when I started the project last year.

I’m also excited to move on to the next steps, such as sending out ARCs and arranging a proper self-publishing marketing campaign.

Health-wise, things have been calmer this month.

As I mentioned in my last entry, I had my MRI, although I *still* haven’t received the results.

I also had some hormonal weirdness near the start of the month, but since my Depo injection has been wearing off, things have calmed down. Hopefully, that’s a sign everything in that department is settling down too.

My mum seems to be doing well, too. She hasn’t had any more updates from the doctor, but every time I’ve spoken to her, she sounds stronger and stronger. She even went away on holiday for her birthday!

I’m seeing her for coffee tomorrow, so I’m sure I’ll get a full update then.

I think that’s all I have for you this month, so I’m going to head off and work on my end-of-month newsletter.

If you want more snippets from my writing, plus real-life nonsense, you can [subscribe to Letters from Clare](https://claredugmore.com/letters-from-clare).

Until next month, take care and stay creative!

**T.T.F.N.**

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